For Established & Pre-Martial Relationships
How Can Couples Therapy Help Established Couples?
Sometimes the most difficult part of relationships is learning to accept that no one has the perfect relationship because none of us is a perfect person.
We are each wonderfully different and complex… unique and flawed in different ways. When we can explore our differences without fear, we can enjoy the strengths each person brings to a relationship. As we learn acceptance of this very different person we call our partner, we can learn to approach things in new ways and to increase our range of responses. When couples learn to accept and trust each other, they have found the key to long, productive relationships.
The couples counseling services I provide help couples who are locked in repetitive and destructive emotional cycles become more aware and accepting of themselves and each other.
Through our work together, you can learn new strategies and skills, as well as improve upon those you already possess, to enhance your communication and become more emotionally attuned and trusting.
We will work together to help you discover the power of getting aligned with your partner rather than being in opposition or indifference.
Couples counseling can help you:
- Learn to talk so your partner can hear you
- Discover how to listen so your partner will talk
- Focus on why you are having problems, not just on the problems themselves
- Learn communication skills for listening to your partner’s emotional needs and fears without being threatened
- Allow yourself to explore issues of trust, attachment and belonging
- Find the answer to the question, “When I really need you, will you really be there for me?”
- Uncover the power of becoming truly committed to your partner rather than being in opposition or on the fence
- Begin to make emotional intimacy a reality
There is no “One Right Way” to make a marriage work. Each marriage is an experiment in learning to be flexible and learning to respect another human being’s needs as well as your own. I have found that people who are willing to communicate about their differences openly and to approach their life together with a commitment to succeed can succeed.
Please don’t hesitate to call me at 408-379-7747, or e-mail me at firstname.lastname@example.org, to set up your FREE 30-minute phone consultation. I look forward to meeting you, but who you’re really going to meet is yourself and your partner!
The Importance of Pre-Marital Counseling For Couples
Unfortunately, most couples spend far more time talking about, and planning for, their wedding day than they do for what comes after… the relationship that they expect to last a lifetime.
Many couples never talk about the basics of maintaining a good relationship until after they are married… Often only once they’ve discovered that they’re not on the same page about many key life issues.
Even just talking about the “M” word can cause a change in a couple’s relationship. And couples are often shocked at how different their partner’s expectations are about the roles of wife and husband as opposed to those of girlfriend and boyfriend.
Pre-marital counseling provides a structured format to review the main areas which surprise couples, both as soon as they start talking about marriage, and once the honeymoon is over.
I work with couples to explore the dreams, expectations, rules, and unspoken requirements for a satisfying marriage that have developed over a lifetime. Couples counseling encourages the understanding of how past experiences with parents and other partners shapes expectations, as well as examining relationship skills and deficits.
Together, we can explore your different personalities and communication styles in order to help you both learn better communication skills for the years ahead.
In six, 75-minute sessions you will:
- Explore the meaning of love and commitment for each of you
- Discover your biases about the roles of wife, husband, and couple
- Discuss key issues of extended family, friends, children, money, sensuality, alone time, decision making, and responsibilities
- Practice expressing your own needs and fears so your partner can hear you
- Discover what you each think a satisfying relationship “should” look like now, in 3-5 years, 10 years from now, and over your lifetime
- Receive “homework” assignments to help you understand your different personalities and communication styles in “real” life
Is Pre-marital Counseling Really Necessary If You’ve Already Been Married?
When one or both partners have been married before, it is easy to believe that this time will be easier because you learn from your mistakes.
Unfortunately, we don’t all learn from our mistakes so easily. Nor do we all make the same mistakes twice… Often we make completely different mistakes on our second attempts. And, perhaps most importantly, you aren’t marrying your previous spouse. You’re making a commitment to an entirely different person, with a different personality, communication style, expectations, and values. You are different as well, you are “older and wiser” and possibly more cautious, guarded, and afraid of failing than you were the first time you got married.
Pre-marital counseling can help you acknowledge and express your fears, as well as learn new skills to handle unexpected and tricky situations.
If you’re interested in learning more about how pre-marital counseling can benefit your relationship for years to come, please don’t hesitate to call me at 408-379-7747, or e-mail me at email@example.com, to schedule a FREE 30-minute phone consultation.